Thursday, June 2, 2011

Sex On The Side. Fin.

Ps:This got a tad long. Well worth it though.

Pps; I love it when the commentors almost beat me to the punch.

In Part 1 I said I am Edwin Ruyonga and I am Polygamous. I apparently confused one of my boys as it seemed I was making a case for polygamy as a Christian. I'll get to that. I was also real candid about certain things that could be taken the wrong way so for the safety of everyone involved let's just say those who were meant to read it got to.

Part 2 got into How Polygamy is about love way before it is ever about sex. Again it's been made clear that I need to not only expound but clarify.

So Part 3 says this;

Sex is Polygamous, love is not. Whatever the dictionary says about polygamy, this fact can not be escaped;You can not love two things at once. Elijah said it, then Jesus clarified it. You can not serve two masters, you WILL grow to hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. God doesn't do polygamy, yet no man or woman was born monogamous. He looked in the heart and mind of man and found nothing but evil.

He called Isreal his bride, and constantly had to punish her for constantly going after other gods no matter how good he was to her.

More children, stronger covenant, more disobediance, more and more little gods, same old intimacy issues.
So how does polygamous sex work inside monogamous love? How does a polygamous mankind serve a monogamous God?


One dies.

Really. Dies.

There is an 80-20 phenomena that makes Love 80 percent and Sex 20, with most people focusing on the 20% which though pleasurable has no real endurance and at the end of it all will leave you unsatisfied and miserable, because where you can have both, you can not worship both. And the one we focus on we serve.

To have sex on the side is to forego anything BUT the side, because no matter what we're led to believe, we were CREATED to serve one thing, whatever that thing is, we just have the God gifted capacity to pick.

I used a word in Pt 1 to illustrate a point, but I realised I would offend some waaaay before I got to the point. That word is a mordern nick name for one part of a woman's body. The point was that nowadays one of the most important and pleasurable acts man has been priviledged to engage in has been relegated to insults and swear words. Women have theirs just as much as men. That relegation came about because by nature the quickest way to make something expensive look cheap and to devalue it is to abuse it, insult it, whether by mouth or action. Then afterwards express that everyone does and is doing it, no one has to wait for it, and I can love you and share it with everyone else under the right circumstances because the modern world does that all the time.

People and being with them should be so much more than just companionship and sex, and sex itself should be so much more than the body parts, but you either live this way or you don't. And so many nowadays have chosen not to.

Sex and or anything on the side in the relationship is never about that thing it's about us, what we chose to keep for ourself. Because we misunderstand true monogamy, in which is the only true sustaining power of a relationhsip

Being in a PHYSICAL relationship with one person does not make you monogamous.

True monogamy isn't just sharing your life and what comes with it with someone, it is completely giving yourself to them and expecting the same. As long as I live I will be polygamous, but as long as God lives in me I will be monogamous.

The next woman I lay with will be the last one. I can guarantee that not because of who I am, quite the contrary, it's because of who I serve and how much I'm striving and have decided to give.

Nothing about me has to remain. He doesn't just get my Sundays, he can have any and every day of the week. He can have my phone, my private conversations, my contacts, my music, my TV time, my good days, my bad days, my most wicked and perverse thoughts.

Because he is the only one who can subdue them. And he is the ONLY one who can protect them.

Jeremiah said the heart is decietful above all and desperately wicked, who can know it? The next verse said "I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins/the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings."

You'll never have access to your heart like God does, you'll never have access to your mind like God does, so you might as well hand over the reigns. He kept that manual for himself.

In giving myself away, heart, every desire, mind, every thought, I also give away the stupidity of worshipping the tempting yet temporary and substance-less side dish when I need the main course to sustain me. I give away the hopelessness of trusting myself to navigate a world and a destiny I have no control over. I give away the frustration of feeling like my world is over and it's all downhill from here everytime there is a bump in the road or a dip in the valley.

My names are Edwin Ruyonga and I am a servant of the one, jealous, very monogamous, ALL highly powerful ALL knowing ALL loving ALL empowering ALL judging ALL just and ALways faith-ful GOD. ALL, not 20 percent, not 80 percent. I am completely surrendered to him, I am far from perfect and always will be but I am no longer running this show, he is, and the change and proof is evident to everyone that knows and has known me.

And as long as I am a servant of God first and mainly, what I am or want on the side and after that will never matter.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Amen my brother, now we are on track. "Lord Jesus I prayer that we die to our flesh daily, allowing You God to mold us into the men and women of God that You are calling us to be in true obedeince. That we overcome and become more like You and less like ourselves; this i prayer in Jesus name - Amen".